When I first met Nick, he wasn’t a cop. He worked as a social worker at a homeless shelter in a not so picturesque part of downtown Oshawa. Becoming an officer has been an almost life long dream for him, so of course as his wife, I stood beside him in this. At the time, there was so many obstacles for even getting in the door; a hiring freeze, growing our young family at the same time, needing a resume that diversified you and made you stand out from thousands of applicants. But I don’t know, something in my gut knew he’d make it and he’d have his dream career. I plastered inspirational messages, scripture and my prayers on old school q-cards and taped them around our teeny tiny apartment. The journey to achieving his dream wasn’t paved with shortcuts or status—it was a testament to his hard work and unwavering dedication, just like many officers before him. We are truly grateful for the invaluable mentorship he received from trusted friends and for the wonderful individuals who supported and uplifted him along the way. Their encouragement played a vital role in his pursuit of success!

I only knew one person in law enforcement—my cousin’s husband, who’s a police officer. Honestly, I had no clue what the future held for us. I was a bit naive, thinking a steady job would just bring us a life filled with happiness and endless opportunities. But don’t get me wrong, this gig has definitely had its perks, and we’re beyond grateful for everything it’s brought our way. I’ve seen how it lights up my husband’s spirit and all the amazing people it’s brought into our lives. Deep down, I truly believe that this winding journey is the one we’re meant to be on, even with all its unexpected twists and turns. I guess that’s what makes the adventure all the more exciting!

My husband has suited up and gotten into his vehicle knowing that just blocks away there were people rioting the streets of Toronto, torching cars and throwing bricks through windshields. I gave my husband a kiss not knowing if he’d return home in quarantine during a wide spread pandemic with no answers and so many laws to still maintain. My husband came home after racing against time, deciding to slide across an icy river and pull out a suicidal teen from freezing waters. He’s come home and held his babies tighter after going to a domestic dispute and seeing a baby, the same age as ours, in a diaper way too dirty and left to entertain themselves in a play pen. He’s been first on scene (in his crocks driving to the beach) when a mom totals her car with her kid in toe. He’s stayed in the hospital with colouring books, toys and a&w kids packs with siblings waiting for the social worker to take them while their mom sobers up. 

My husband is a good man. 

So much of what he—and many other officers—do often goes unnoticed, and honestly, he prefers it that way. The shifts can be long and unpredictable, which sometimes makes the job feel even more intense. He often finds that his co-workers become like honorary family members; they share a unique bond grounded in understanding. There are times when he comes home hours later than expected, and while it might be the worst day of someone’s life, for him and his colleagues, it’s just another Tuesday on the job.

He’s been a new recruit, a seasoned officer in a different province, and now he’s a small-town cop. Even in a close-knit community, there’s always so much happening! I never truly understood the blessing of being somewhat anonymous until we moved here. Everyone knows you’re the new cop family! While this recognition is mostly heartwarming—people are incredibly welcoming and friendly—I’ve also come to realize that it can sometimes bring privacy challenges.

Being a cop’s wife you develop a deeper understanding of your partner and their needs. I used to joke with my friend that we are in the CWC (cop wives club) because we got each other. I was even going to make us embroidered T-shirts haha. And that’s just how it is. We have each other’s backs and we can vent, cry and have a good laugh because we need to from time to time. We keep an eye out for each other’s kids like family. We are forever linked by the shared experiences our partners have had. Sometimes our partners come home angry or anxious- and we navigate it through CWC lenses. I love that my husband has this job and the people he works with, but it’s not an easy job. And if you know a cop wife, check on her and make sure she feels supported too 🤍

If you’re a wife of a cop, I encourage you to find your CWC and nurture those friendships. You’ll never regret it!