Harland was born in the middle of October, just before the end of summer warmth was exchanged for a welcomed cool autumn breeze.

We had just moved to our small town in British Columbia that June and this girl was NOT prepared for mountain town walking. I remember being so sore walking around town, it felt like the baby was sitting between my legs! Every turn was another hill to climb and my Ontario born and raised body would have none of it! So one day that summer I gave up and my husband forced me to go into a family owned shoe company in the heart of our town- the owners soon to become one of our closest friends- and I bought myself some supportive sneakers! I didn’t even take them off after trying them on- I bought them and wore them out of the store!

The heat was a lot that summer while pregnant, but being a lake town, I always found a spot to cool off and reprieve from the heat. As the summer progressed I began to have more regular appointments with my midwives. Which was great, because they were able to spot a steady incline in my blood pressure. I was developing preeclampsia, which I had never had with my other pregnancies before. The only thing that changed for me was more frequent visits to my midwife and weekly check ins in a blood pressure cuff to keep an eye on my numbers. By the end of September my numbers were in the red, which meant it was steadily high. I’d have to go to the hospital in town and get a stress test done each time. It was so frequent and so frustrating. I felt like I was missing out on time with my family and putting my feet up with a bunch of wires and tests felt defeating. 

October came and another stress test later, I was ready to have this baby! Nick surprised me on October 2nd with a date to Kaslo for poutine, a walk by the water and then on our way back into town he dropped me off at a hotel! It was so nice to sleep in and have some alone time in hopes that some rest would entice the baby out! 

That week I slowed down and was beginning to feel low energy and exhausted. We were invited to a friend’s house on October 9th to celebrate Thanksgiving. I felt so huge and so sore! 

The Wednesday after the holiday, my midwives said that it would be best to consult with on OB because of my blood pressure being so steadily high since the beginning of October. So they brought in the OB, he casually sat down and said to me very calmly “so I think based on your experience this pregnancy with preeclampsia, the fact that your numbers are in the red and chances are will stay high or increase are very likely, so I think the best thing we can do today is have your baby”. I was NOT expecting him to say we were going to have the baby- today! 

“Go home, pack your bag and get a sitter for your kids and then come back this evening and we will induce you and have the baby hopefully tonight!”

Omg. Omg. Omg

I was so excited and nervous and sad to leave my kids. All the emotions! 

We dropped off our 3 kids with some friends who were so gracious and helpful, letting them come for a sleepover was no small task! 

We gave big hugs and kisses and drove to the hospital where we settled into our room and began my induction. It was a slow process because we began with a cervical balloon that allows the labour to begin more naturally. After that was inserted we went for walks outside (on the look out for bears) and walked up and down the hospital stairs, hoping things would get going. I was cramping and having un regular contractions, but not much else! The nurses said that breaking my water would be the next helpful step in picking up active labour and that they’d be in sometime in the morning to do that. 

What we experienced next, was a prime example of what a small town hospital is like. In previous births, we’ve had state of the art birthing units and many rooms and staff available to assist with deliveries, but here, there’s a few birthing rooms and much less staff. The next morning turned to the afternoon, and we were growing frustrated of the lack of communication. We still were waiting on getting my water broken after my first attempt at induction. After what felt like forever, the nurse came in and said sorry but they can’t break my water because there was another woman in active labour and not enough staff to help her and me at the same time. So we waited and prayed the baby would come out on his own. But they already started my labour so technically I couldn’t leave the hospital and technically I wasn’t labouring- so I was a sitting duck. A duck that was not happy! 

This now turned into day two and then three of the same reasoning and by this point Nick was fuming and I was a sobbing mess. How could they begin induction for me and then just leave me here until it’s “my turn”?? My kids have been left with friends, who are now taking on this massive responsibility while juggling their own kids and their work. I missed my kids and my home. 

Nick had a chat with the midwife on duty and expressed our frustration and concerns, and finally we got some answers and some attention.

They were breaking my water and it was go time!

As soon as they broke my water, I felt a MASSIVE relief. Nick said I looked so much skinnier haha. One massive gush of fluid and then another and another… I don’t think I stopped leaking for some time afterwards. I began having contractions shortly after. I bounced on my ball, which helped. I moved from side to side allowing myself to bear down with every contraction instead of clenching and tightening my body. I listened to Ocie Elliot- What Remains EP on repeat in my earbuds. I moved and swayed until the contractions became frequent and strong. At this point, Nick HAD to hold my hand at all times.  I’m not joking. He had to go to the washroom in between the big contractions and the lovely midwife student offered to hold my hand instead. I held hers to not offend her, but as soon as the contraction started I screamed for Nick to get over here! He’s my safe place and any time the pain felt so strong I held his hand and he looked at me, reassuring me, praising me, encouraging me- and I felt safe to keep going. 

The nurses checked me quickly and said I still had a bit to go before he was lower. After my check, the contractions felt like they got kicked into high gear and I was ready to push. My body couldn’t help but push and ride out each contraction. The pain was so intense that Nick thought I was going to black out. I thought I would too. Something was not right, my body wanted to push but his head was not low enough  and I wasn’t dilated fully. So we made the quick decision to get an epidural so that I could get relief and they could put me on my back and take a look at baby. 

Thankfully the anesthesiologist who was on call, was able to get to me pretty quickly. He began with a few routine questions and I, as politely as I could between screams and contractions said; “this is my fourth kid and I’ve had two previous epidurals, please just hurry, please before another contract….” and then another contraction came and I was at this point convulsing with pain. “Yup okay”, he said. I tried to stay as still as I could hunched over so that he could get the needle in. 

Within minutes I felt relief. I was dilated to 10cm and they checked baby’s head. The midwife student said she felt his head stuck under my pelvic bone. The other midwife confirmed this was likely the reason I was in so much pain. My body trying to push him out, but him getting stuck. With the epidural I was able to relax while the midwife did her thing- guiding his head between every push. Nick knew the drill- with every epidural, laying flat on your back to push the baby out, is hard to do without some help. He lifted one side of my leg and the nurse lifted the other, as if it was a squat position, but while on my back. A few big pushes later while the midwife guided his head out from my pelvic bone  and this absolutely BEAUTIFUL boy was out into the world. He layed on my chest with his hands by his head. Not a peep. No cries. The midwives rubbed him up and down and his colour changed. I asked if he was okay? His older sister Larkin was the same and came out perfectly content and quiet. They took him to make sure, cleared his airways and finally he let out a little, wee cry. I layed there thankful and relieved, crying and shaking. 

The kids meeting Harland in the hospital was such a special moment. The girls helped their daddy change Harland’s first diaper and put him in his outfit for the night. Unfortunately I had postpartum hemorrhaging, which was expected because of previous births with the same complications. I was laying on my bed and my daughter, Oaklin wanted to cuddle. I wasn’t bleeding heavily at this point and so she came up for big hugs between my legs. My former youngest who missed her mommy so much, was so excited for her sibling, but needed me just as much. We had a lot of snuggles and chats and then my hemorrhaging began… and there was blood everywhere. Good thing Nick swept into action and very quickly picked her up and took her out of the room, took off her soiled shoes and pants and wrapped her in his sweater. Thank goodness she’s not traumatized by this and doesn’t even remember these details today.

Nick ordered me some comfort food/my first meal of the day from Broken Hill. I ate and snuggled my baby boy all night that first night. He nursed and stayed in my arms until we were woken up in the morning for tests.

The next morning our tests were great, but I was low on iron from the loss of blood. I opted out of the blood transfusion, something I regretted later on, but I was so anxious to get home. A year later I did an Iron Infusion which helped out a lot! My family picked us up and we had some needed family time at home as a new family of six!

The days, even weeks leading up to Harland’s birth were ones we did not anticipate. Two years later and I’m in awe of how God took care of the details and the delivery. My older kids were taken care of, my baby boy was birthed without complications or medical interventions. I was able to recover well. Now we have a very funny story of how I laboured without meds and then got an epidural towards the end because of Harland’s big head!